Thoughts of Manana: 11.29.05...

Heavens to Betsy! Why, I Believe We Are in the Red Light District! Imagine that....Imagine that. 

         Well, its 4.23am and Ludacris is currently telling me a story of the last time he was at the clubs.  It begins with him telling someone to get back, fornicator with his mother, because, quite simply, the person don't know him "like that."  Get back, please. The other gentleman seems to just be standing there talking his ear off.  He does not even want to listen! Get back, please?  Ludacris, that poor guy, is having a bad day, and he doesn't want to take it out on me. Get back, if you'd be so kind.  Very considerate of him.  All he wants to do is watch the fine women in the bar establishment he's in get intoxicated so the next day, he can wake up and in years to come, have a great story to tell the grandchildren.  Get back, kind sir.

    As he goes on with his story, Ludacris talks of the unfortunate altercation he had with quite simply, "him."  Too wrapped up in the emotions of the story, he never manages to give a name to the person in question.  Perhaps, he is the "knick-knack-patty-whack still riding Cadillacs," gentleman of the first verse.  One may never know. 

  However, he refers back to Caesar's famous quote.  Ludacris came. He came.  Ludacris saw.  He saw. And then?  Well, then he caught "him" right dead in the jaw.  In the jaw.  As he goees on to explain it, Ludacris punched him square in the face first with right hook, then a quick jab, and finished it with an upper cut.  Quite simply, he kicked his arse.  All he wanted was peace and quiet.  All he wanted was the ability to view inebriated women. 

   Very emotional man.  Its good he is able to keep such close tabs on his emotions and express himself so well.  Never let it be said that Ludacris is a man unable to communicate his feelings to others.

http://www.lyrics007.com/Ludacris%20Lyrics/Get%20Back%20Lyrics.html

Thoughts of Manana... 11.25.05

Hmm...a month from now is Christmas.  A month and 6 days is 2006.  Where did this year go?  I remember adjustiing to Chris transfering and wondering who the hell my intended 27 year old Porsche mechanic of a new roomie would be.  Fortunately, he ended up not coming here.  I remember having Connie and Sarah to turn to and Kelly on the phone when out-of-the-blue bad stuff came to me over the phone. There was the whole APO pledging process I distinctly remember and some of the best college memories and friends made from that.  I remember the May heat in DC when my friends took me out for my 20th birthday and the surprise in Ward afterwards. Remember that time my sister had her engagement party in the summer? Or when Chris and I went on a roadtrip which included some notable highlights like the ghetto Viking Hotel with its break away tissue boxes or the 2 hour walk along Myrtle Beach I had by myself in the afternoon.  There was CTY and its madness of promotions, drama, bald heads, and of course, all the kids.  The return to DC and RA training which all seems ages ago.  And this semester.  Honestly...where did it go?  Its November 25th already and the beginning of November seems ages ago let alone anything before that.  How is that possible with 18-20 hour days?  I guess we all get caught up in the here and now to stop and realize the there and before & after.  Whoa...that was deep.  There is no spoon. 

There is no overall theme or message to this entry.  More just a reminder of Johanna telling me I need to update it.  So, restless and unable to sleep at 12.47am--I'm trying to enjoy this whole relaxing business of break, really, I am--but random thoughts floating around in my head need some place to rest...

Life is going well overall.  I apologize to those who I haven't done the best of staying in touch with.  I keep hearing myself say "to say I'm busy is an understatement."  And, while to some extent that's true, I always chided those who refused to keep in touch with someone because the other person didn't make the effort.  It takes two to tango and I guess I haven't been doing my part of dancing with a lot of people.  Honestly, just keep reading past these bad metaphors...its the large amounts of football and food from today kicking in.  

My dad and brother came down earlier today for Thanksgiving.  When I've told some people this the past week or so trading the general common small talk that seems to be necessary to today's society, I imagine a lot of them assume that my parents are divorced.  Not at all.  Rather, Mama and Sister Shah are in India right now wedding shopping for the upcoming wedding in June.  June 17 to be exact.  Still a bit of ways away, but, with weddings, the date seems to appear faster than what shows on the callendar. 

It was great seeing them.  But at the same time, a sobering reality that we're all growing up.  Rather than sit around talking about neighbors or similiar teachers we had or commonalities we once laughed about when younger, my brother and I talked about plans after graduation.  Grad school.  Traveling Africa. Moving to California.  Jobs. Careers. Moving beyond home and New Jersey.  Dad wasn't feeling too well...he's had a cold for the past week or so and this newfound brutal wind didn't help him too much earlier tonight.  I think he too realized that we weren't the same sons froms years ago who would come running to the door to see which street toy he managed to bring home for us from New York City. (I still remember the black windup horse and ninja from years ago...I still have it too). 

This semester has been about change as always.  Rather than before of enjoy and struggling with college, realizing that all people aren't all friends, growing restless with what college had to offer, and gaining confidence and a different outlook on life (as were the general themes of each college semester)...this one is about What's Next? 

I'm on the verge of something big.  Something new. Something...but no idea what.  Its right there, and I'm all set for it.  And...I can't figure it out.  Its not frustrating necessarily, its just...there.  Maybe its all the recent talk about grad school, study abroad, even Peace Corp (yes...much thought there honeslty), and realizing more great friends are graduating (Eric & Rachel, Rachel, half the McHughes staff...) that there is this sense of the next and future rather than the now and present. 

I ran into Anthony D. the other day in Mary Graydon.  He's now in his first year of grad school at GW.  I asked him how stuff was going and he just looked at me for a while before commenting, "ya know...honestly...its not that hard.  Its easy, really.  Its just not challenging."  Has college been challenging to anyone?  Well...let me clarify.  Have classes, readings, work for classes, been difficult?  Non-stop difficult?  Or has it been, as Chris and I discussed over many small pineapple pizzas from Papa Johns, a matter of putting in the effort the night before a test, paper, or final and walking away? Maybe its the liberal classes taken or the lack of hard sciences and maths, but college...wasn't really challenging. 

Yes, there have been bad grades, late nights, frustrations of not figuring something out, professors you just want to yell at...but...challenging?  Nah.  It seems college is more about time-management.  Once you got that done, you're set.  And the more college goes, the priority of classes seems to decrease.  Ironic, eh? The reason you come to college becomes a lower priority with each new club, activity, job, internship, or other responsibility that you take part in.  College advisors and the books say you should be spending at least 3-4 hours a week studying for each class you take.  5 classes...4 hours each...20 hours?  20 hours of studying a week?  That's a part-time job!  That's 3 credits of internship credit there!  That's 200 or more dollars lost studying instead of working!  That's 20 hours less of community service! 

Maybe its my stupidity but I'm lucky if I manage even 10 hours in a given week.  Granted, last week and its 7am-all-nighter and at least 7 hours in the library were the exception to get this paper done (which...honestly, one of my works that I am the most proud of and put the most effort into), but usually its a matter of doing work when its either a)needs to get done b) when it is convinient for other jobs (ie. while at the Honors office, while at the desk...when not wanting to clean my room). Thrive on pressure!  Works well in a time crunch! Time management? check.  Strong, healthy work ethic (by general standards)?  Okay, maybe not. 

But...then, do grades lie? GPAs? Deans Lists or scholarships?  I know I'm not the only one getting by on the seat of their pants.   You gotta figure you're doing something right if all those say--in the words of Kevin--"a good job."  So perhaps its not a matter of how many sheer hours you put into work.  Into school.  Into classes and books and papers and tests.  Its more a matter of how smart you are in doing it all.  If it takes someone 4 hours to study for a final that takes someone 20 minutes, well...that's what it is.  Its not a matter of smart or dumb.  Rather, its a matter of what you're good at. What you're talented at. 

Hell, I can't sing or play a musical instrument.  Don't know anything about music except what I like to listen to and why I enjoy it.  As much as I'd love to play the guitar or piano...croon some great sappy love to someone...or get the gravely voice of Dave or Bono...yeah, its not going to happen.  Thus, I remain content to sing privately in my room (or under my breath in public).  Not to say that there aren't people who are musically talented and get good grades too...  The general point was just being made with that example. 

If this confuses you....well, its what  I have to deal with constantly.  Me thinks brain thinks too much.  And sadly, no on & off switch.  Its not like the TV or lights which I can "close."  Damn Jersey lingo for you...  

I need a pensive...  

Happy Thanksgiving. I'm thankful for all of you. 

Life's Soundtrack:

Opening song:                                     U2 “Beautiful Day”

Waking up:                                          Fatboy Slim “Right Here, Right Now”

First date:                                             Dave Matthews Band “Stay (Wasting Time)”

First kiss:                                             Coldplay “Yellow”

Good Make Out Session:                   Dynamic Four “I Should Forget”

Romantic Make Out Session:           Dave Matthews Band “Crash Into Me” or

John Mayer “Your Body is a Wonderland”

Wild Make Out Session:                   AC/DC “You Shook Me All Night Long”

Falling in love:                               Jack Johnson "Better Together"

Seeing an old love:                              Frou Frou “Let Go”

Thinking of an old love:                     Third-Eye Blind “Blinded (When I See You)”

Heartbreak:                                          Journey “Separate Ways (Worlds Apart)”                                                               Colin Hay “I Just Don’t Think I’ll Get Over You”

Driving fast:                                         Steppenwolf “Born to be Wild” or Sugarcult “Bouncing off the                                                            Walls”

Getting ready to go out:                     BeeGees "Staying Alive"

Partying with friends:                     Lustra "Scotty Doesn’t Know"

Just Rock Out:                                    Lynyrd Skynyrd “Sweet Home Alabama”

Dancing at a club:                               Nelly & Co. “Shake Yo’ Tail Feather” or Punjabi MC & Jay Z “Beware”

Flirting:                                                Jack Johnson “Banana Pancakes”   

Feeling sexy:                                        Nikkfurie de la Caution “A La Menthe”

Saying Goodbye:                  Eagle Eye Cherry “Save Tonight”

Remembering Good Times:               Van Morrison “Brown Eyed Girl”

Walking alone in the rain:                U2 “Where the Streets Have No Name” or Joseph Arthur “Honey & The Moon”

Missing someone:                               U2 “With or Without You”
               
Summer vacation:                               Third-Eye Blind “Faster”

Fighting with someone:                      Sum 41 “The Hell Song”

Acting goofy with friends:                 The Darkness “I Believe in a Thing Called Love”

Thinking back:                                    Foo Fighters “Times Like These”

Angry:                                                   Dave Matthews Band “Grey Street”

Feeling down:                                      Jack Johnson “The News”

Christmas time:                                 Bruce Springsteen “Santa Claus is Coming to Town”

Winter:                                                 Tran-Siberian Orchestra “Christmas Eve (Sarajevo)”

Spring:                                                  Dave Matthews Band “Pig”

Summer:                                               Don Henely “Boys of Summer”

Fall:                                                       Dave Matthews Band “Stay or Leave”

Falling asleep:                                     U2 “A Sort of Homecoming”

Closing song:                                       U2 “I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For”

Thoughts of Manana:  October 25, 2005

Wow...its been a while.  Last entry was during CTY...dammmmn.  Well, things are going well.  I'm alive, that's always good.  The big 6 in my life right now are classes, RAing, APO, Honors Office, interning, and of course, family.  I'd give you a run down of all of them but...if you really want to know, by all means IM.  Or e-mail.  I've been hooked again on getting and sending emails.  Give it a shot, its good times.  Marvelknight23@yahoo.com.

So, after seeing this is many others' Xangas/Live Journals, etc, I figured I'd give it a shot.  It really shouldn't have taken as long as it did (an hour)...but its pretty accurate.  Make of it what you will. 

Thoughts of Manana: 7.5.05

    Good morning from CTY Saratoga here at Skidmore College.  Its now 8.04am and I'm waiting for Chris to get back from breakfast so I can go eat.  Constant hall coverage is required to make sure the kids don't light themselves on fire or put other random stuff in the freezers.  (So far, the list of all things found in a freezer: antler--just one--, towel, sock, and volleyball)  Eventually I'm hoping some actual food or drink will be frozen.  

   A little over a week has passed since I've first come here.  However, with CTY standard time, it's felt much longer; not necessarily in a negative way, just due to length of time engaging wtih the students, working on committee stuff, and just general being awake.  Things this year definitely aren't the same as last summer, nor should I expect them to be.  Things right now aren't as they were at the end of last summer either, another presumption that should not be made.  Overall, its been great here.  The RAs are all awesome and its been great getting to meet them and new friends.  The Admin. is a good group of people who run a decent ship around these parts.  And the kids....sigh.  Gifted and talented as they may be--which they definitely are--sometimes the "common sense" aspect of intelligence is just gone through the window.  As one kid pointed out before, "I'm book smart, I really am.  But I'm just really dumb otherwise."  I can't really go into more details or examples right now about that, due to people reading this, liability issues, and other affairs, but...one day maybe. 

     As for myself, last night I suffered a bloody lip when getting hit in the face with a whipped cream pie.  So eager/happy was the student to hit an RA, he just whammed (making up verbs, woot) the pie right into it, with his palm hitting the upper lip.  Mmmmm...whipped cream & blood.  Just so everyone knows, whipped cream stinks after a while.  It really does.  I believe the closest smell to it is vomit.  Mmmm....vomity sweet goodness. 

    There's more I could write about I suppose.  However, its now 8.12am and I'm hungry.  Plus, I just saw one of my guys run past my room waving his pants in the air screaming...yeaaaaaaah, welcome to CTY.  Hopefully its not going in the freezer.